Jumbled Thoughts

I no longer seem to care
Throughout this week, I've noticed that I'm showing signs of slipping in regards to school already. It always heppens, but this semester it seems to be happening earilier than it usually is. I was close to taking this semester off in regards to classes, but I decided against it when I figured out that I needed to take an extra semester before I graduate because I don't want to be here a full year extra, not to mention I hate the spring semesters with a passion (not long enough a break between fall and spring, and working Christmas season isn't excatly relaxing). I'm starting to feel I should've listened to myself when I said I should take a break, because I just don't seem to care much anymore. I should want to do well, but I only care enough to do well enough to not take anything over, and that's my only motivation to get stuff done, and not even all the stuff that needs to be gotten done.

Best example is last night. One of my classes is an online class, and there was a short assignment due yesterday, meaning I had to get it in before midnight. I got home at around 6:30 we'll say, more than enough time to get that assignment done. What time did it get done and submitted? 10:30. It wasn't because the assignment was hard, or long, it was because I didn't care and was watching tv or other stuff as I was doing it. It's sad, and even sadder that I realize this and at the moment not doing a damn thing about it. I'm tired of school, the concept of going to classes then doing work outside classes for them, and the fact that it's all for a piece of paper saying you spent a shitload of money to earn saying you're qualified to do whatever shit it says you are with no gurantee of getting a good job afterwards. I've been thinking now and then lately and at points last semester that if I didn't already go through more than half of my education I'd probably just stop since all I can see it doing to me is draining money I don't have yet and causing me a shitload of stress. It's ridiclous, I just want it to end and be done. I'm ready to be done, why do I have to wait until next December to be done with school?

Current Mood: frustrated